Happy New Year!

It's going to be here in 30 days. Thirty!

With any new year, comes resolutions.

And I say, if you have a resolution already in mind, start now.

Because if it's going to be good enough to act on it in 30 days, why not do it now?

So you can indulge a bit more in your shady habits? If you can't change today, what's going to happen in a month that's going to change the way you behave? magic? really?

They say it's insanity to do the same thing repeatedly only to expect different results. I wouldn't go so far, I'd just call it emotion over logic.

If you want to do anything, google it. it's that simple.

A quick search on "new year's resolution" pulls up tons of a advice on how to make and plan one out. all very similar advice in different forms.

focus, small chunk it, and make it measurable. my personal favorite is a support system. 'cause it's easier that way when we have people to follow and encourage us.

just four steps. easy enough to make and break. four!

and don't just have a resolution to fill the silence during co-worker conversations. you don't have to have one.

if they ask, say: "my resolution this year is to not have any"

and if you break it, great. 'cause you'll be working towards something else.

it's win-win.

so if you have a chocolate habit, or some other crack-meth related addiction, maybe it's time to think about it.

if nothing else. sit down and think.

leave the mouse, don't click on anything. sit. breathe. tell me there's nothing about your life you want to improve. and we can leave it at that.

but don't tell you want changes and add excuses. I don't want to hear it.

that's enough preaching. I'm going to get off my soap box and start my list.

Happy new year, world.

More energy from this new morning routine

going to give it a try for a week, and see how it works out. ha. works out.

http://www.dumblittleman.com/2008/04/2-simple-ingredients-that-will-boost.html

Inbox Zero

Inbox Zero: cleaning out my inbox.

Delete/archive: no more subarchiving
delegate: waiting on
Respond: keep things in motion, ask a question

convert everything into actions

periodically check email. on a schedule.

stop thinking about taxonomy

to-do: capture and recall.

email bankruptcy

technology's not going to fix broken practices.

source: 43 Folders

Trying to figure out "lifestream"

It's what I've been thinking about.

Now that I know what the google word for it is. I can figure it out. how long though?

and yes. google has a different set of words for those things you think about in your head and want to know more about. "search terms"?

Overdosing on information

That's the diagnosis right now. of all the things plaguing me. this is it.

too much information. I want to digest it all. and I just don't know where to start.

I started cleaning out my stack of Economist mags today. all the ones I didn't get a chance to read while I was in school.

flipping through to rip out articles. time went by. picked out over two dozen articles. they're on my table now. and there's another 12 months worth of issues to go through.

my intention was to through out the magazines.

so that'll be done tomorrow.

exhibit #2: tried to renew my domain name. links through links. endup with another dozen pages of articles to read. and two new RSS feeds that I probably can't go through. awesome.

how am I ever going to digest all this information?

I need to focus. and ignore everything else. but then I don't want to miss out on life.

so where's the middle ground? middle ground is average. and you know how feel about that idea. it's for chumps. middle of the road is safe.

I don't know what the solution is.

Improvements

There's a better way to do anything. more efficient. faster. less effort. automatic.

I've never had a such an urge to get up and fold some shirts.

I also noticed YouTube is in widescreen format now. hmmm...

Nostalgia

this photo breaks my heart.

into a million little pieces. like the sprinkles in that faux-book.

dropping sprinkles three feet above the table. they just pour out and bounce and collide.

each piece a fraction of happiness. and I'm desperately trying to catch them all with a toothpick.

it's not working. frantic.

and there are fractions all over. you can't put it back together.

I don't know why I'm nostalgic about it.

maybe I miss having to do nothing.

maybe I miss my childhood.

8:52

woke up at 7:30 today.

It's taken three days to build up to this moment of lucidity.

my sleeping habits have been atrocious. not something I could wear a badge of pride for.

so things are starting to change.

I've been getting earlier these past three days.

and today has been the best yet. got up at 7:30. and milled around online trying to come up with a new email address, which is pretty hard, 'cause like what women say about guys, all the good ones are taken.

but that's loser talk.

trying to wake up is painful.

there's a little voice inside my head telling me that it's okay to sleep for five more minutes. and it suckers you into an hour.

maybe I just need some breakfast right now and everything would be a-okay.

I could be warmer. that'd be nice.

but sleep would be awesome. that's that voice again. coaxing and cooing. like a teenage boy trying to put it in.

and waking up is like fighting a kid.

the minute I take away sleep. it kicks and screams. moans and graoaw;lkfasd.

but new habits can be made.

and I refuse to believe that there's such a thing as a "morning" person or "night owl" (doesn't an owl imply the night already? when have you seen a morning owl?)

anyway. my point is that habits can be changed. if I'm not a morning person and I make myself get up enough times early in the day, I'll eventually become that morning person I wasn't before. it's a matter of time. and sleeping habits.

so this is day three in that new habit.

hello, morning.

5:00

Ringing ears for $26.

The Definitive Series

A series of definitions.

Today's:

Gifts (which I've already semi-defined in another post).

A gift is not something the person is asking for. it's something they don't know they want.

that's a better gift.

if it's coming from you then it can't come from anyone else.

money doesn't matter. it's the thought that matters. and that doesn't mean that remembering to give a gift counts as "the thought"

"the thought" in this case means figuring out what they wanted before they even knew it. that's the thought that counts. not just remembering.

they should feel good. long term? short term? the length of elation correlates with how good your gift is. this is a reason why materialistic things aren't the best gifts.

they'll bring a smile. but it won't last. new wears out fast. is that why we have to give people gifts constantly? 'cause they wear out at such a rapid pace?

oh. wrapping. expensive wrapping is lame. they're going to rip it anyway. I use newspaper. plenty of text and imagery to choose from. and it's cheap and you can recycle it.

what does it mean if you don't get good gifts? that you know what you want and you usually get it before other people can give it to you?

4:25am

I feel like spewing. haven't done this in a while.

consecutive entries. without executive pay.

bang bang bang.

she's dead. resuscitate. one. two. clear. zap. zap. clear.

I was watching charlie rose this morning. Michelle Rhee? from the DC school system. about holding teachers accountable. and it got me thinking about whether I agree with what she was doing.

I haven't figured it out yet. but it seems like a good idea. because if you don't hold the teachers accountable with test results. then what kind of students do you end up with? the ones heading towards a dead end?

but then you start teaching towards test. and that's narrow minded.

what does a black president do to the psyche of a whole generation of disenfranchised kids?

how do you glamorize education to battle rap-star lifestyles of the athlete famous?

get-rich-quick. might lead to dying quicker.

there are things in this world that our parents don't teach us. money matters. how to be a parent. how to be a person.

simple things that affect our lives. where the fuck are we supposed to learn these things? by idolizing idols? this is all very twisted.

it almost seems that google could have the answer to raising kids.

how are kids supposed to be raised? 'cause it's obvious that there are people out there that aren't suitable parents. so what do you do? sterilize?

this is not fun.

I don't need sleep. but it's time to sleep.

pretending

I hate pretending.

hate it.

there are few things that I hate.

because hate's a strong word.

and I think I've blogged about this before.

pretending.

I don't know why I haven't gotten around it yet. it'll take time. but I don't like pretending. it's lame.

Gifts

inspired by today's events.

it's my sister's birthday. so I spent a large part of my day thinking about a birthday gift for her.

what is a gift?

something the person wants? something you want them to have? me being francisco, I didn't want to give her something that money could buy. something that anyone else can get her.

so I thought about it. while browsing for a new phone for myself.

what does she need? what has she told me before? what does she need that she doesn't even know? so I thought. and I let things simmer.

and that was my afternoon.

back to the definition of gifts. which came to me after I thought about what to get her. wandered around Target. not for anything in particular except ideas.

the next time someone asks me if they can help me find something, I want to say: yeah, I'm actually just looking for some Purpose In Life. can you help me find some? they might laugh and think deep down that I'm a jerk for jerking them around.

so Targé. I saw a club wedd kiosk, and thought of those club wedd days.

materialistic things are nice. they give you a shot of whatever chemicals are released into your brain.

but I want something long term. something that'll last and mean something. not a hallmark card. 'cause that's the complete opposite of meaningful.

I settled on something that I want to give her. not a "thing" per say. it's intangible. she probably doesn't know that she wants it. I haven't given it to her yet. I have to sit her down and pre-amble her with a speech.

it's going to be a lifetime gift. if she wants to accept it. and I hope that in giving this to her, I'll be more disciplined.

because of all the people in my life. the things I've had recently are all from her.

education, security, shelter. three words that have meant the last three years of my life and will affect the rest of it. all from her.

I don't have enough money to spend on a gift for her. so I'll use what she gave me to give something back to her.

maybe this will backfire. in which case, there's no plan B. things'll just blow up.

but I hope that today, her birthday, will really be the beginning of something. where we'll look back and say, that's when we decided to do things differently. that was the milestone.

that day after Barack was elected. speaking of which, google, you should put Barack Obama into your spell check. there shouldn't be a red squiggly underneath Barack.

I just typed in hitler and it was recognized. does google recognize hitler and not obama? what retarded logic. not the spell check but the pseudo accusation I just made.

faux-cusation.

back to gifts.

giving her what she doesn't know she needs.

and this goes back to something I learned from debbie's class. that if we believe in what we sell. we should sell to our families and friends. because if they don't deserve what we're selling, then why would we sell it to anyone else?

so what I've been preaching with my business card was part of it.

I want to help my sister be a better person.

I don't know why I haven't been more active about it before. school? life? lame-o-emo issues?

well. if I can't help my sister out. then I don't know what good I can do with the world.

so this better work. 'cause there's no plan B.

0:35am serious conversations

an intense conversation with mom. about serious things.

something that hasn't happened in a long time.

it came about after some insignificant comment. but then that comment was our jumping off point.

where once you slice open a wound, things just pour out.

and it hurts before it heals.

so that was good. not the gushing. but the fact that we talked. and things were communicated.

if I died tomorrow. I'd be happier 'cause this talk happened.

it'd be one of those things people in movies say they wish they did before their significant other passed away. so that thing happened tonight.

and I hope it happens more often.

'cause why is it such an effort to keep in touch with my parents? it should be natural.