2:39am

First post in a long time.

First post for this blog.

Decided that I want to share my writing. Because my fanbase is clamoring to read my thoughts, and I'm a generous person.

and because if I'm going to put down "copywriter" on my resume, I should at least pretend to know some English.

and when I was thinking about this in the library today, I thought about the things I would filter out. because this won't be like my other hidden blog. where no one gets to read it. unless you hack into blogger.

and that led to other thoughts. mainly, how much do we know anyone? people spend half their life married to strangers that turn out to be gay.

suddenly, your father is gay. your mother is a lesbian. your husband was the way he was because of all this.

and these are the people we're married to. live with under the same roof. share the same bed.

so. how much can you really know anyone? what about yourself? you sure must know yourself if you're going to know anyone, right?

but what are mid-life crises? isn't it when you're reevaluating your life because it's not what you wanted it to be? but how'd you get there? what do you want?

things I thought about. it's okay if other people read these posts. 'cause most people won't. most people are allergic to words.

they'd rather hang out with images. visual candy for your sweet-tooth.

words require effort. and you can't be sure that you'll be rewarded after trudging through that slog of serifed letters.

you might get tired of it. and come out empty handed with no refund for your time.

and I didn't want this to be me blabbering about my day. maybe it could be substantial. some topic that I pick every day. write about. and bam. publish more sophisticated writing. more polished. and actually capitalize the beginning of my sentences.

but when writing becomes a must, it loses that magical feeling for me. that escape. I want to just write the way some people just want to smoke pot. do coke. drink beer. have sex.

it's a release from my day. I vent and things are digitized. I don't have to worry about storing them. they are already stored. the wonders of technology.

what's wrong with venting about my day? it doesn't matter that forty thousand other people write about themselves. this is a vain venture into myself. about myself. and for me. if others want to tag along. that's fine with me.

no goals in mind. except to write every day. for at least thirty minutes. that's the minimum, right?

that way, I can trick myself into sitting down, recapping my thoughts and maybe write something meaningful.

I wanted to get up at 6am this morning to go run on a treadmill for 2 miles or 20 minutes. whichever one brought on the stitches first. but I got up at 1pm. had lunch. went to school. and worked on things. went to the library and checked out books.

saw annie and anna working together. which makes me sad that I haven't had the chance to work with everyone in my year. and makes me wonder how much more fun the rest of the year could be.

I'd spend all day at the library with a laptop reading and surfing and writing. I would. ::le sigh:: one of these days. maybe right after graduation I'll do that.

read, absorb, and write.

tried to figure out how to use movable type. couldn't completely figure it out. not even partially. then went to the Office and entered data for four hours. listened to debbie on design matters. emily oberman. michael bierut. jessica helfand. carin goldberg. I think those were it.

thoroughly enjoyed each one. the insights and thoughts from listening to them was inspiring. they were all different. different types of thoughts.

emily was slightly different from what I imagined her to be. it was cute when she talked about Paul and their arguments during collaboration. how inspiring he is to her. the same with jessica helfand and her husband. they were pretty awesome in critiquing the design community and the education we receive as students.

oh. and brian collins. definitely stuck on high energy all the time.

hmm. maybe for the first couple of posts I'll write responses to design matters.

they all talk about lack of feedback in the work that they do. so this will be my response. bam. done.

came home at 1:40am while reading designing interfaces on the train. already some insights as to understanding your user and what they expect.

it's time to go. almost. I need ten more minutes of blabbering.

while listening to debbie, I thought about whether it'd be possible for me to be a writer about design/advertising issues and topics. are they out there already? feels like I'd need writing classes. rigorous routines in writing and rhetoric.

be more focused instead of wandering through the prairie.

haven't been doing any homework for the last couple of days. I really don't know why. where has the time disappeared to?

annie and anna said I lost weight. my eyes were puffy from pot. and I see the puffy pot-eyes. not sure about the thinness. maybe it's because I haven't been sleeping enough. it drains me internally without my consent. and I loose weight.

these past ten days have been blurred. the week glides and blends. gradients into night and day. nothing really separates A from B. they're ligatured.

I need to sit down and do nothing for a day. but the count down has already started. May 2nd. and in a sense. May 1st is our last day.

May 16th graduation. commencement exercises. and then the rest of my life begins.

my hands are drier than usual. lotion and water?

read an interesting movement trying to rebrand tap water. to make it cool again. that bottled water isn't any better than tap. and it's true. research confirms it. and I believe it. so why even buy bottled water? convenience?

all that recyclable plastic never is. they end up in landfills.

my neck hurts. shoulder and neck. don't know why. lack of sleep. poor posture? this definitely constitutes as rambling. how many words are we at now? way too many.

maybe the goal will be to sustain one thought for half an hour. that'd be nice.

saw Du's video and it's weird to watch someone's voice-over while they're standing in front of the camera silently.

slightly surreal.

made me feel nostalgic about this year already. I'm going to be 25 in two years. that's insane. quarter of my life spent. and where am I headed? where is anything headed?

to end on a random note: es un gato con una pipa!