Undesigned

There's something about this blog that I miss. The unfilteredness of it all.

I miss writing to empty out all my thoughts. Is there an audience? Maybe. I don't want to write for you. I want to write for me.

And right now, there's this story that comes to mind. several, but those'll be in separate posts.

Back in Miami, I used to live in a gated community, we called them complexes. at our complex, we'd play some form of cops-n-robbers. maybe with a more updated and mature name. any reason to chase each other.

and we'd all be on roller blades. skate, skate, skate. then sprinting when pavement meets grass.

one of these times. I remember being chased. and I was getting tired. exhausted. it's what happens when you sprint. sprint 'til you're empty. and I was about to give up, 'cause I couldn't run any more. just stop running and let 'em catch me.

then I stop. he's catching up to me. and right at the moment where he tags me, I start running again. something kicks in. and says, nope. not now. so the tank goes beyond empty. at this point, I'm damaging something.

the feeling comes again. give up. no. yes. it's a game. big deal. no. can't lose. do it. and that's how it goes.

self-imposed mind games.