3:10am

I don't know why I'm up at three in the morning. The days are in hyper-drive-space travel-mode now. Feels like I just wrote yesterday, but that was thursday.

maybe because I'm doing so many things that it feels as if there is no white space between the acts themselves.

and spring break is over.

on friday I spent the day working. better yet. on thursday I spent the day working. when I say working, I mean for money. as opposed to doing homework. which is also for money, but that's in the long run.

Thursday at the office entering data. until 7pm. then I don't remember what I did. it's all blank.

Maybe I came home. maybe I went to school and tried working on things. I think I went to school.

Then Friday was here. I was hoping that going in to work and seeing the OC crew would make me feel better. but for some reason, I was cranky all day.

and I'm never cranky. felt like a fifth grader throwing wooden toy-tantrums for the sake of calling attention to myself. or because I knew that others would tolerate it because it's so infrequent.

rolling and cutting paper. talking about why I'm tired even though I've been not sleeping enough for the past two weeks. spring break is here. and that's irrelevant.

ordered lunch. chinese, which I didn't want to begin with. but I didn't want to be the jerk with a bowl of salad while everyone else was eating family style.

when lunch finally arrives, my order is somehow not present. so everyone pities little old me and offers their food.

I was finally having "one of those days" that people have. it's just one of those days. ah. I get it. I don't want to have it any more. maybe this is what's it's like to PMS. without the cramping. and extra mess.

left a bit early. went to BN on fourteenth. browsed. read how, which isn't that great of a magazine at all. saw some computer magazines with nice tutorials and methods of packaging a DVD within the mag.

met up with suckzoo and rachel for wontons in chinatown. which wasn't enough food for me. and I get hungry at night. friday night trying to figure things out online. replying to posts on craigslist for my website project. get spam. and other offers.

I don't know why I'm stressing over this thing. it's killing me. I'm wilting.

reading "designing interfaces." great book.

headache. have to get up at 6am. that's in 2.5 hours. not even three. why am I up and writing?

because I didn't yesterday. and if I don't do this, I might go insane in the brain.

upset at how I'm speedwalking everywhere. it gives me a sense of purpose. I'm permanently stuck on fast-mode. it's jammed and I don't see why I should fix it before may 2nd.

went to the MoMA yesterday, I want to go again. too many people looking at the elastic mind exhibition. mondays and fridays. sweet. except I work those two days.

I'll figure something out. I want to go to the Guggenheim.

didn't get to see everything I want to because I was late and still residually cranky from everything. suckzoo and dahyee. photos. went to eat in chinatown. bought red duck-tape and kung-fu shoes. I was high from inspiration. felt that I could make anything with duck-tape. there has to be a story for naming it "duck-tape"

ate. not really enough food. hung out at the park. watching old people at the park gather and play chinese chess. smoke and talk. pass the day.

the geriatric hang out spot.

mom calls. left her keys at home. I meet her. go home. and I pass out at 6pm 'til 12am. wake up and work on my website 'til 5:45am pass out again and wake at 1pm. eat and some more website. then head out to the office again for data entry at 5:30pm 'til 1:15am. and now I'm back home writing about my inconsequential days.

it's almost over. that's why I have to be stuck on hypersuperdrive. damn it. I'm not enjoying this.

but maybe I'll look back at this and learn something. be glad that I was this stupid and myopic about everything.

listened to more design matters. didn't know how far into the first season I had listened to, so I'm working my way backwards. learned some things. still fun. reduces my productivity. but makes working so much more tolerable. my first official multitasking.

came home. preparing for tomorrow. have to return the camera I didn't really do much with. I shouldn't check it out any more unless I have specific plans to use it.

I hope I'm not late tomorrow. wake up at 6am. leave at 7. get there at 8am. I should've rescheduled. too late now. it's in a couple of hours.

there I go being cryptic again.

3:34am. my fingertips are cold.